家族

I think one of the worst things someone can do is to come back and live with your family after you've tasted freedom and built your own life.

Regardless, here I am having forced to move back home with my mom and grandmother, even though I am an educated woman with a college degree. Damn this economy. But I do find a little kind of job, which is to last a couple months ending in August, and now they have upgraded me to 'full-time' status.. even though they still pay me the meager $10/an hour as a 'intern' so they don't have to pay me a regular pay as with my college degree. So I satisfy my family, go full time, to make more money. But I happened to get sick today and miss a day and my family goes into freak out mode, bitching at me to get my ass up and go to work and am I dying blah blah. Really?? I mean really? If I weren't living here you wouldn't even know and yet your bitching at me. And it doesn't stop, it never stops, they will bitch about this forever. I just get so tired of not having freedom. Catering to them. I will live my own life the way I want to live my life. Sure I understand their worry over somehow I'd loose the job. Which mind you is a internship. Not a job. They don't understand how different those two terms are, they ask me if I want to work more.. they don't tel me. I can't really be 'fired' since i'm not really 'hired' I'm just there helping for a while really. Now if they decided to keep me on full time salary job, it's different. But they have not even indicated to do that when my time is up in August. For now, I work my ass off for them, they really have need of me since I'm getting the most done on this project than anyone else. Of course I felt bad for missing today, but I could easily doubly my efforts and stay later tomorrow to make up for it. I'm just so tired of the shit I get from my family who knows nothing.

Now I don't want to know what my mom would say that I don't have money left in my account, but am waiting for my paycheck to cover my bills instead of the money she gave me. Since she wants me to pay for my bills come the 20th until the next 20th. I don't know what to tell her then, but we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it. Maybe I'll get lucky and my work will continue into august instead of ending on august 5th like they mentioned, then I would keep getting my paycheck at least to cover my next bills.. since the paycheck I get tomorrow will cover bills for the next week or so. We shall see.. I will be getting a full time paycheck after tomorrow.


Rain falls down upon my window like the tears fall inside my soul...